Hello once again..
Well, today kind of my bad day. I started of by doing something that I don't really want to do. Then, I had no actually a fight but something just happened that my mom doesn't talk to me for time being and I went on crying till i fell asleep. I just wondering what I've done wrong, why is it me that always get scolded at, mad at and everything.
Maybe I was wrong for being defensive but not that I wanted too. Since I was a kid until now, my brothers always bullied me, so I guess when I grown up, I tend to fight back but I guess that's not a good attitude. I can't seems to protect my self or defend my self, cause everytime I did, I get scolded at. I love my mom very much but I just don't understand why is it always me get scolded at. Why my brother who punch me on my shoulder or kick my ass everytime I'm with them, they didn't get scolded at. When I shout at them, I who the one will get it.
I don't mind that they kick my ass sometimes, but there's a limit. Sometimes I can join them but not all the time. I don't understand why is it always me?I can't complain cause that's the way things go around here but is because I'm the only girl that I have to learn how to respect others and can't show my feelings. I guess now I just have to suck it all up inside me. I already apologies to my brother for being very defensive at him and he turned out to be very supportive about it and give me some encouragement.
I don't know what else to do, I guess like he said, give her another day or two to let her cool off. I do have an inner conflict in me. From now on, you'll be the witness of me wanting to change myself and my attitude. Pray for me. I just want to have a better life and I just want my mom to be proud of me and accept everything I do. This is a song dedicate to everybody who are reading this post;
How To Save A Life
by The Fray
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
cheers!! -live LIFE happily-
