I Don't Understand ( PART II )

Hello once again..

Well, today kind of my bad day. I started of by doing something that I don't really want to do. Then, I had no actually a fight but something just happened that my mom doesn't talk to me for time being and I went on crying till i fell asleep. I just wondering what I've done wrong, why is it me that always get scolded at, mad at and everything.

Maybe I was wrong for being defensive but not that I wanted too. Since I was a kid until now, my brothers always bullied me, so I guess when I grown up, I tend to fight back but I guess that's not a good attitude. I can't seems to protect my self or defend my self, cause everytime I did, I get scolded at. I love my mom very much but I just don't understand why is it always me get scolded at. Why my brother who punch me on my shoulder or kick my ass everytime I'm with them, they didn't get scolded at. When I shout at them, I who the one will get it.

I don't mind that they kick my ass sometimes, but there's a limit. Sometimes I can join them but not all the time. I don't understand why is it always me?I can't complain cause that's the way things go around here but is because I'm the only girl that I have to learn how to respect others and can't show my feelings. I guess now I just have to suck it all up inside me. I already apologies to my brother for being very defensive at him and he turned out to be very supportive about it and give me some encouragement.

I don't know what else to do, I guess like he said, give her another day or two to let her cool off. I do have an inner conflict in me. From now on, you'll be the witness of me wanting to change myself and my attitude. Pray for me. I just want to have a better life and I just want my mom to be proud of me and accept everything I do. This is a song dedicate to everybody who are reading this post;

How To Save A Life
by The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

cheers!! -live LIFE happily-

I Don't Understand

Hey..

I just wanna say that I'm not satisfied actually. Why do I always get mad at when she's not in the mood?Why can't I be mad at something that I don't like?I don't understand. My activity or my feeling seems to be controlled by someone. Not that I don't like it but sometimes I wish I can just express my feelings and people can accept that. I can only show my feelings when I'm alone by talking to myself or by crying in the toilet cause after that I can only smile and laugh. Pathetic isn't it?I think so too..

I may look happy on the outside but I seems to have too many conflict with my inner self. How much longer can I stand?I don't know but maybe this is what taught me to be matured. There is good and bad consequences handling with this matter. The good one is, I'm matured in most of the things that I do, the bad one, if I can't stand I may become a lunatic. Pardon me for my English, I think, I messed up some grammar.

Haha, here's another thing that I don't understand. Why women, some f it I mean, are so stupid? How can you have a relationship with someone who's already married and have kids and also didn't feel any guilt. Weird isn't it?I mean, you as a women, don't you feel insulted by it. I can't seems to understand this type of woman. I kinda hate this type of B***h. Guess what, I know a one of this B***h and that's why I'm writing about it.

I guess that's it for now. Again, pardon for the English. Here's a song for this post:

What Goes Around Comes Around
by Justin Timberlake

Hey Girl
Is he everything you wanted in a man?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you, baby
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

Don't wanna think about it
Don't wanna talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it(yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fate

Is the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Shoulda known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's ok, baby, cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
Yeah

cheers!! -live LIFE happily-

I'm Backk..It's been a long time...

hey..

Its been awhile since i wrote my last blog. I can say that this time, I'm in my happy days. Like in the previous post, told you my happy moments that my life has finally shines. I'm happy. I'm in my new home, new house, new neighbour, new air( which smell poops cause there are so many cats here), new embience, and a beginning of a new life.

I'm on my holidays, doing nothing but i'm happy with doing nothing. This is the time for me to relax. Everyday, I'll be watching t.v. Now, every morning I will turn on to ch. 76, my favourite channel in astro, then I'll be watching all the dvds and vcds. Love it, love watching t.v. Yes, I'm a t.v freak and also a movie freak and I'm happy with it.

I want to talk about honesty. Being honest is a good attitude. You're not pretending who you are, what you are, who you've become. Being hinest, being true will make people believe in you also believe in yourself. Don't pretend to be someone you're not just because you want to fit in. Trust me, being yourself is the best way to fit in. If those people doesn't accept you for who you truly are, there are not the kind of people you want to hangout with becausem they themselves are fake, or in Mean Girls, they called it The Plastic.

When you start to lie bout who you really are or you are so ashame of your life or your family or yourself, it won't bring you anywhere and you will keep on lying till you yourself are living in that lie. You can't stop yourself. Everything that you are doing are all based on lies. That's not the kind of life you want right?What happened if you meet someone you love that you going to spent the rest of your life with, is it going to start with a lie and end up with a lie?Think about it.

It's sad to see people who are living in their made-up world. In that world everything is perfect. Are those people actually happy with that world. Maybe, but, that world would not last, because sooner or later, people that you lied will find out the truth and from then on, whatever you say won't mean anything. You can't turn back time. You can fix but it won't be the same. People will start to question everything you say or do. Hard isn't it?Be honest, don't be ashame of who you really are, and people will love you for who you are and not your fake life. People who don't accept the true you, they are not worth it and you're not at loss. Remember this, Friends With Benefit. Think what that means and you will appreciate it.

Undiscovered
by James Morrison

I look at you, you bite you tongue
You don't know why or where I'm coing from
But in my head, I'm close to you
We're in the rain still searching for the sun

You think that I wanna run and hide
I'll keep it all locked up inside
I just want you to find me
I'm not lost, I'm not, just undiscovered
When we're alone, we're all the same as each other
You see the look that's on my face
You might think that I'm out of place
I'm not lost, no no, just undiscovered


cheers!! -live LIFE happily-