Cloudy Days :-(

hey guys..

how i see the days become so dark..
you may think i look happy on the outside, nobody know how i feel on the inside..
my days are becoming back to the day before i see the sun(read previous post, u know what i mean)..so Ikea next friday eh?linda dun forget ur promise n my promise will be next sem..

k back to the story..im happy when im with u guys but then think bout home of coz la happy kan but there's alot that u dunno n i dunno how to explain..yes, of course the problem with my family is the thing that everybody need most in the world, MONEY!!yes, now it is a big thing for my family..

that's y im not too enthusiast sgt to go to ikea coz i dun have the money..im writing not because i need ur sympathy but just to expree my feelings out..what can i do to help my mom..Astro pun dah kene potong tinggal yg my brother nye je..how sad this life can be?but this is a test from Allah..With it, it teach me how to be strong n now stronger..betul, while writing this, i really feel like crying..what can i do to help my mom?nasib baik abang ke-2 n ke-3 dah kerja just to help my mom with the financial..I don't wanna talk bout my 1st brother..if i start talking bout him, it wont be nice..me n my 4th bro, the only thing that we can help our mom is by, supporting each other n take care of ourselves whilst in UIA..

Please guys, when you see me, don't make any sympathy face as I dun want you guys to treat me differently..Thanks to Linda, i'll be joining u guys to berbuka in Ikea..Now, i'm just praying for some miracle..And i'm praying that the sun will always shine on us (my family n u guys) and im praying that whatever i'm going through right now, hope it will never happen to guys as it is not something you really want to experience..I'm bless though with this experience, it really teach me to be strong and independent and not spoil..With ur support and love, i survived then and i'm sure i'll survive now..

Luv u guys!!


Ode To My Family
by Cranberries

Understand the things I say
Don't turn away from me
Cause I spent half my life out there
You wouldn't disagree
D'you see me, d'you see
Do you like me, do you like me standing there
D'you notice, d'you know
Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care

Unhappiness, where's when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as a fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care

Understand what I've become
It wasn't my design
And people everywhere think
Something better than I am
But I miss you, I miss
'Cause I liked it, I liked it
When I was out there
D'you know this, d'you know
You did not find me, you did not find
Does anyone care

Unhappiness was when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care

-live life happily-

hey ho hey ho...people these days..

Hmm its been awhile i didn't update my blog..

K, since I'm writing now, nothing much is happening right..Everything seems to be perfect then sometimes it's not..I don't know where my story should begin..

K, the other day, me, maryam, hana n linda went to see a movie, Hairspray..K, citer dia xla gila menarik tp it was fun n the songs are entertaining..jalan citer ok ok je la n John Travolta ngan Chritopher Walken "menarik"..haha..

Then, while I was watching the movie, there was these couple sitting behind me and the girlfriend kept on kicking my chair. At first, I let it go, I ignored it, then dah kerap sangat that women kicked my chair, i turned my head, dia buat bodoh, then lagi skali dia buat, i turned my head n kept on calling 'hello hello' dia buat bodoh n changed sit..k aman la jap, skali boyfriend dia lak started kicking..haih nak mengamuk pun ada tp since citer pun nak abis buat bodo..when the movie finished, I told my friends bout these couple as loud as I can, patu diorg buat muka bengang. What do I care right?So bila dah jalan kat hall nak ke mall tu, they were behind us lagi kuat i cakap, then Hana, masa bukak pintu, dia gi tahan pintu when they wanted to lalu..haha..bila kat luar, they walked in front of me, saja je la cakap "tah ape masalah girlfriend ngan boyfriend ni, kaki xleh duk diam!!" n they looked at me n awek nye sambil jeling..huhuhuh..its really annoying when people kept on kicking ur chair, i mean, bukan la dirog je yg tgk movie..huhu..k, that's history..

Now is Ramadhan, happy puasa everyone..Yesterday I went berbuka with my friends..it was fun..hanging out with ur pals are always fun. They understand you best. People, I'm in no mood suddenly..i better continue it later..so basically, you got my story..k peeps, happy ramadhan!!

Bye Guys..be back in 5 days..

Hey guys,

just dropping by to say goodbye before i take off tomorrow..I will find things for you guys there..ein, sure thing will buy your doughnut. naz if i found the book, i'll buy. faridah, yes i will bring back the newspaper. But peeps, no promises though i use alot of the word can and will. hehehe. Bye!!

Bye Bye Bye
by 'N Sync

Bye bye bye
I'm doing this tonight
You're probably gonna start a fight
I know this can't be right
Hey baby come on
I loved you endlessly
When you weren't there for me
So now it's time to leave and make it alone

I know that I can't take no more
It ain't no lie
I wanna see you out that door
Baby bye bye bye

CHORUS

Bye bye Don't wanna be a fool for you
Just another player in your game for two
You may hate me but it ain't no lie
Baby bye bye bye
Bye bye
Don't wanna make it tough
I just wanna tell you that I've had enough
It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie
Baby bye bye bye

You just hit me with the truth
Now girl you're more than welcome to
So give me one good reason
Baby come on
I've lived for you and me
And now I really come to see
That life would be much better once you're gone

I know that I can't take no more
Ain't no lie
I wanna see you out that door
Baby bye bye bye

CHORUS

I'm givng up I know for sure
Dont' wanna be the reason for your love no more
Bye bye
I'm checking out, I'm signing out
Don't wanna be the loser and I've had enough

Don't wanna be your fool in this game for two
So I'm leaving you behind
(Bye bye bye)
I dont wanna make it tough
(Make it tough)
But I've had enough
(Bye bye)
And it ain't no lie

Cheers!! -Live Life Happily-

I'm Bored but yet I'm Having Fun..

Hello.. Oh my god, it's like ages i haven't write here. So for you people yg asyik masuk my blog and find out there's new post, well. good news, here's the latest..hahaha..As you can see, well you can't really, k as you all know, new sem and new year just started, it was fun but also it's boring.. I miss my holiday months alot alot ALOT!! I really had fun during my holidays.. Every week there's futsal and movies and "mamak" yup, we love you Syed and Janggut!!! I had the most fun ever that time and not to forget the day me and ein went out to klcc, window shopping together and gossiping, we had a good time don't we ein??Well, that 3 months had gone with the wind, and now, back to studying..haaaiiihhh...

K, since I didn't update this blog for like God knows, let me just give you the summary of what has been happening for the past 4 weeks, starting with the 1st week of Study..here goes, take a deep breath people, ready....GO!!

1st week: new day new week new year and new syllabus. Everyday from Monday to Friday i will go to class with Linda, yup my new best friend cause she just got a car..hahaha, just kidding dear, but i Love you still, you know ur the sweetest, loveliest, prettiest and cutest girl ever..hahaha..then, on wednesday, me, maryam, hana n linda went to OU, jalan2 cari makan..n friday went back home..guys, im abit lazy to update on wat has been happening for the past 4 weeks, so let me just say, every week is like the 1st week..hehehehe, honestly..

To my dearest Ein, I hope you get well soon, so me, linda, riry, dikdah, aina, and pija can bring you to OU or klcc for some movies..We miss you, don't take leave for the whole sem, just drop your moot, so u can ambush or lash out kat that you know who..Oh, I'm going to Jakarta this wednesday which is onnnnn 8th August..I try to find you something special there..Linda, i will buy something for you too, dun u worry k..Ein, 1 more thing, did you know that linda dah pandai MEAN dah skang..Love you Linda..

K, see my life is Bored but at the same time I'm having fun with it. i cherish and enjoy every moment of it. And 1 more thing, I love my new mahallah a.k.a Apartment Ameenah. The room is big, seriously, it is sooo like an apartment, i share compartment with kak zakiah, my compartment mate last year, and god it is so spacious..Though the toilet we have to clean it ourselves but sumtimes we can ask the cleaner to do it, and many don't really like the toilet but i don't care since i'm not sleeping in it..Haha..

k guys, will keep u update like another 3 months...hahahaha,nah, i'll keep u update before i go to jakarta and after i get back..i try k, no promises, I don't wanna runaway baby, I don't wanna be alone..hahaha, k..bye muahx!! here's a song for you heartbroken out there..

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore
James Morrison

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Chorus

Well I can't explain why it's not enough, Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
Its the better thing to do,
Its time to surrender,
Its been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces dont fit anymore, Pieces dont fit here anymore.

You pulled me under,
I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
Thats breaking my skin.
Well i'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage thats done.
But I show how Im feeling until all the feeling has gone.

(Chorus)

Ooh don't missunderstand,
How I feel.
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried.
But still I don't know why, no I dont know why.
I dont know why...... why?!!

- Live Life Ti The Fullest - d

Love...It hurts so bad..

hola..

Let me tell you a story of me n love. Honestly, i never really been in love but maybe now I know what love is.. I used to like n went out with this anonymous guy that i like for 2 years. I decided to break with him but just for awhile, like take a break cause we were in a situation where everything is not right n we always fight. Well that's the past.

The best part about the past is that, when i decided to reconcile things, he's with someone else. It hurts. I'm not blaming him but he gave his promise to me that he'll wait but he didn't. It really broke my heart. Now, I don't know, everytime i see him, saw him, I get heart aches. Am i still in love with him?Sometimes I wish that we could get back together but I guess that will remain a dream.

It hurts me so bad to see him approaches my friends but me. Why?It really hurts. I wish I could just told him how i really feels about all this but I just want to move on. Why can't I?Why is it so hard?I feel like strangling him. I want to say I love him but I'm not, I want to say I hate him, so far from that. Why is he ignoring me?Does he hate me so much?

I didn't mean to end things but he just didn't get it that I need time n space at that time. I guess he's not really in to me too at that time. I got to say, when we went out, he makes me happy n I was happy with him. But you tend to get annoyed when he doesn't trust you. That's why I need space. He didn't understand that part.

Now, I'm hurt for my own action and yes, maybe he could be saying, "hah!!you deserves that lady". Maybe I do deserves what I'm having now. I didn't mean to hurt him and I didn't mean to end things like this but why is he so comfortable with my friends and ignore me completely?It really hurts to see he left comment on your friend's page but didn't reply at all at your comment. It hurts. I hate it. I want to cry.


What am I to do?Love hurts huh??It seems now, a better guy than him hasn't appear yet. Now, I can't fine anyone better than him. I'm pathetic I know. Well, I hope this feeling go away or he would treat me normal. Love hurts so bad but when you first fall in love it is the most happy moments and the most happy feelings you ever felt but when it turns out like mine, its the worst. See ya, here's a song for you people out there:


Dashboard Confessional
Stolen


We watched the season pull up its own stakes
and catch the last weekend of the last week
before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
another sun soaked season fades away

you have stolen my heart
you have stolen my heart

invitation only grant farewells
crash the best one, of the best ones
clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

you have stolen my heart
you have stolen my heart

and from the ballroom floor we are a celebration
one good stretch before our hibernation
our dreams assured and we all, we'll sleep well
sleep well, sleep well, sleep well, sleep well

you have stolen
you have stolen
you have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in the highest heels
you are the best one, of the best ones
we all look like we feel

you have stolen my
you have stolen my
you have stolen my heart


cheers!! -live LIFE happily-

I Don't Understand ( PART II )

Hello once again..

Well, today kind of my bad day. I started of by doing something that I don't really want to do. Then, I had no actually a fight but something just happened that my mom doesn't talk to me for time being and I went on crying till i fell asleep. I just wondering what I've done wrong, why is it me that always get scolded at, mad at and everything.

Maybe I was wrong for being defensive but not that I wanted too. Since I was a kid until now, my brothers always bullied me, so I guess when I grown up, I tend to fight back but I guess that's not a good attitude. I can't seems to protect my self or defend my self, cause everytime I did, I get scolded at. I love my mom very much but I just don't understand why is it always me get scolded at. Why my brother who punch me on my shoulder or kick my ass everytime I'm with them, they didn't get scolded at. When I shout at them, I who the one will get it.

I don't mind that they kick my ass sometimes, but there's a limit. Sometimes I can join them but not all the time. I don't understand why is it always me?I can't complain cause that's the way things go around here but is because I'm the only girl that I have to learn how to respect others and can't show my feelings. I guess now I just have to suck it all up inside me. I already apologies to my brother for being very defensive at him and he turned out to be very supportive about it and give me some encouragement.

I don't know what else to do, I guess like he said, give her another day or two to let her cool off. I do have an inner conflict in me. From now on, you'll be the witness of me wanting to change myself and my attitude. Pray for me. I just want to have a better life and I just want my mom to be proud of me and accept everything I do. This is a song dedicate to everybody who are reading this post;

How To Save A Life
by The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

cheers!! -live LIFE happily-

I Don't Understand

Hey..

I just wanna say that I'm not satisfied actually. Why do I always get mad at when she's not in the mood?Why can't I be mad at something that I don't like?I don't understand. My activity or my feeling seems to be controlled by someone. Not that I don't like it but sometimes I wish I can just express my feelings and people can accept that. I can only show my feelings when I'm alone by talking to myself or by crying in the toilet cause after that I can only smile and laugh. Pathetic isn't it?I think so too..

I may look happy on the outside but I seems to have too many conflict with my inner self. How much longer can I stand?I don't know but maybe this is what taught me to be matured. There is good and bad consequences handling with this matter. The good one is, I'm matured in most of the things that I do, the bad one, if I can't stand I may become a lunatic. Pardon me for my English, I think, I messed up some grammar.

Haha, here's another thing that I don't understand. Why women, some f it I mean, are so stupid? How can you have a relationship with someone who's already married and have kids and also didn't feel any guilt. Weird isn't it?I mean, you as a women, don't you feel insulted by it. I can't seems to understand this type of woman. I kinda hate this type of B***h. Guess what, I know a one of this B***h and that's why I'm writing about it.

I guess that's it for now. Again, pardon for the English. Here's a song for this post:

What Goes Around Comes Around
by Justin Timberlake

Hey Girl
Is he everything you wanted in a man?
You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you, baby
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

Don't wanna think about it
Don't wanna talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it(yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fate

Is the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Shoulda known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's ok, baby, cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, don't go away, back around
Yeah

cheers!! -live LIFE happily-